The Six Boxes Affair
by Svetlanacat
Summary: There were boxes on the floor. Six boxes. Napoleon didn't like it.


At the very moment he opened the door, he knew that something was wrong: on the floor, in the middle of the room, there was a pyramid of strange boxes. He knew for sure that he didn't have to worry about a Thrush trick. Not here. He sneered. Well, okay, he got it! They were the 31st of March... at least for a few minutes. Then...

"Fine, fine, my friend! You gave it your best shot..." Eventually, he studied the boxes. There were cardboard boxes, wooden ones... All red. Of course... By chance, he had forgotten an important file, otherwise... He bent over the pyramid. What was this about?

There were six boxes. He hesitated then took the first and put it on the desk. Grabbing a rule, he got the box open and took a step back, just in case. It was full of paper straw. He rummaged it cautiously with the rule until he found a small sheet of paper. He got it and read :

"_It is human nature to think wisely and act foolishly. Anatole France"_

"What's that mess, Napoleon? You weren't supposed to be here, today!"

Illya stood in the doorway. He looked puzzled. Puzzled or disappointed. Napoleon sneered. "Funny, Illya, funny, neither were you, for all I remember? Did you forget your Russian tea?"

The Russian rolled his eyes. "I'd never forget anything that important, Napoleon! It's just... a book." He pointed at the pyramid. "What's this?"

The innocent face didn't fool the dark haired man.

"Ts ts... YOU did that, didn't you?"

Illya pursed his lips.

"Do you think I've got any time left for that?" He stared at him suspiciously. "And may you tell me, please, what you're actually doing? What's this?"

Illya sounded genuine... He was pointing at the paper inquiringly. Napoleon sighed and held it out to him.

"You're right, Illya. This..." He waved the paper. "This must be for you."

Again rolled eyes and pursed lips... Napoleon couldn't help enjoying himself.

"Perhaps you should open another one..."

Illya Kuryakin turned into his "Freezing-the-villain-instantaneously" glare.

"I have no hand in it, I swear! Please, open this..."

The Russian took another box, put it on the desk and opened it. Same paper straw, same sheet of paper. Napoleon watched out for his friend's reaction. First, a grin, then a snort of laughter.

"That's a convenient one and..." Illya waved it the paper the same way his partner had done. "I'll have to remember it "_Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish." _ Euripides." Then he took his know-all face. "Of course, Napoleon, you know Euripides..."

"Yes, I know... Stop laughing and open this one."

This time, it was a burst of laughter. The Russian held out the paper to his partner.

"_A sense of humor is the only divine quality of man._ Schopenhauer. Your turn, Napoleon."

Napoleon opened another box, " "_Mix a little foolishness with your prudence: it's good to be silly at the right moment."_ Horace. This one is for you, Illya."

"And I'll have to remember this one, too: "_Those who wish to appear wise among fools, among the wise seem foolish."_ Quintilian."

"This one, now: "_Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."_ Plato. You know who Plato..."

"Napoleon, yes, I know Plato. The last, now."

It was heavier. Illya opened it cautiously and smiled. There were two glasses, tagged with little goldfishes and a bottle of vodka.

"It seems to be the good one! And... wait a minute."

The blond brought out an envelope and held it out to his friend. It was Napoleon's turn to burst into laughter :

"_Young men think old men fools and old men know young men to be so."_ Metcalf ... Happy April fool's Day, young men!" Napoleon chuckled. "Oh, the old sorcerer! Six boxes? Why six..." He raised a finger. "Of course, six boxes for..."

Illya smiled thoughtfully.

"Six years..." He paused and the two friends exchanged a look. "We'll have to plan a revenge, Napoleon but just now let's go home and get some ice. Then we'll get a "Poisson d'Avril" for the Old Fox. I've a good sense of humor but, actually, lukewarm vodka is insufferable. That's a... a felony!"


End file.
